HIJA EVERY ONE ^_^ *pay no attention to this rant it's dumb lol and IF you feel so moved to "help" then send a note I don't feel like the drama of talking to anyone in school or such ^_^ it's not important*

I think I have problems... I seem to argue with others emotion, shooting down their emotional outlet... perhaps because I never had the ability to express myself without feeling like an asshole. so I simply never do... or did.

memories seem like a movie in my mind. playing over and over until, I see every flaw the actors play, such fills me with frustration. they feel empty like an accent to my empty body running on mere will to exist.

I hurt every where, it won't go away. I force my self to fight these demons known as me, myself, and I. beating them up until they beg to die. each punch landed, each kick that connects, feels like my eyes are being ripped from my sockets

I am more than enough blind now, I can't see anything... funny, I always thought being sightless would be nothing but eternally dark. it's bright... hurting the eyes of my mind almost unbearable. it gets brighter and brighter. I cry silently unseen, not trusted by those who are close to me

mind split from the pain of light, I crouch in the corner briefly to reflect on how alone I really am and to yell at my emotion and thought of reflecting on something so morbid... how those I trust, never trust me, how I never trust me. after a second of timeless grief I smile, returning to once again the love of untrusting souls.

when things are so bright the smallest darkness is seen, childish darkness which I wish to trade for my light... my strength. for my strength makes me weak

^_^ smile smile ^_^

helps you kids, who are throwing a fit over meaningless matters

^_^ smile smile ^_^

secretly wishes to be told which I preach

^_^ smile smile ^_^

wanting help,... hand shakes as I reach for your back

^_^ smile smile ^_^

hesitation... withdrawal!

^_^ smile smile ^_^

secretly fights one's childishness

^_^ smile FUCKING smile ^_^

I am such a child craving massive amounts of attention in which can never be paid... from the bottom of my heart, which has been sold, from deep with in my soul, which is consumed, I sincerely pledge on my blood, which is ice ...

I..

am sorry ^_^

sincerly
~ a smile within you ~